In my personal coaching sessions, the question I ask my clients the most is, what about the situation you are describing can you control? After a few back-and-forth’s, invariably we arrive at what is universally true: there may be precious little we can control about any situation, except for how we choose to respond to it. Frustrating as it is, we cannot control how someone else feels, the outcome of a decision, the final grade, whether or not we ultimately get that promotion, etc. We can and should work hard and do our best, but sometimes fate intervenes and things don’t go our way. We are disappointed, saddened, frustrated. Once we confront these emotions, our superpower kicks in: how we will choose to respond? Will we give up and never try again? Or will we double down and persist? Will we allow one disappointment, or even a profound tragedy, to define forever as a victim? Or will we choose to learn from the experience to emerge even stronger to face the next challenge life throws our way?
Even when we choose to wallow in grief and self-pity and avoid making any choice, the abdication of choosing speaks volumes. When I was in the first grade, my father suffered a heart attack and had open heart surgery, which gave him four more years of life. When he died, I was eleven. I idolized him as little girls do, and I learned early on the shock and grief of losing someone. Two years later, just weeks before her wedding, my sister died in a car accident when a drunk driver ran a stop sign and struck the vehicle she was driving. I was the passenger and emerged unscathed. She was 26. I was angry at the senselessness of it all, and felt guilty that I survived.
I knew that I could keep living with the resentment and the anxiety of always expecting another tragedy to strike, but I chose not to succumb. Instead, I looked back with gratitude for the extra years that the surgery gave to my father and to me to really know him and remember him. I chose to be grateful for having my sister at all and learning not to take anything for granted or ever to be governed by fear.
YBeU Beauty Personal Coaching is my chance to help women to own their beauty. For some that means embracing the superpower to choose how you want to show up in your own life. I choose gratitude, savoring the good stuff that comes my way, learning from the bad, and trying to bring more of the good to others.
How will you choose to show up in your life today?